In Defense: Celeste Pizza

My relationship with Mama Celeste goes back a long way. One of my early childhood memories is of eating a Celeste pizza by candlelight that had just finished cooking just before the power was knocked out during a thunderstorm. I was four years old, and Celeste has been in my life ever since.

Maybe that's why I got so worked up the other day when my roommate told me he didn't understand how people can like Celeste pizza, even going so far as saying that Celeste smelt like puke to him.

I'm not trying to argue that Celeste is gourmet pizza. It's a frozen pizza that costs less than $1.50 and that you cook on an aluminum disk in the microwave (that disk is important though. It gives it a nice crisp crust. I don't know why other microwave pizzas haven't tried to piggyback off of this amazing innovation).

As a growing pizza fiend Celeste was there for me. There was almost always one in the freezer when I was growing up. By the age of six I could work (and reach) the microwave to cook one up for myself. On Mondays when pizza night was five long days away I could satisfy my craving. When I was a teenager it was the perfect late night snack after a night of playing Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.

The thing about Celeste is that while it's not the world's greatest pizza it is certainly pizza. Mama Celeste somehow magically put together all the spices that feed your pizza fix. It doesn't try to do too much. It just does its job. If you're hungry for pizza at home all it takes is a dollar and three minutes of waiting.

A lot of frozen pizzas try to do too much. They cost $10 and take 30 minutes to cook them. For that price you might as well just order from your local pizza place which can probably make a better pie for less money in less time. Celeste just gives you the enjoyment of pizza conveniently and economically. For someone who eats pizza at least three times a week (though often more) that's important, but I guess I can't expect everyone to understand that importance.